Now what?

As of our last post on this blog, you might have expected that we would write again when we left for Peru to get our three new children. Or maybe when the adoption was finalized in Trujillo. Or when we brought them home.

That's what we were expecting, anyway.

Then something happened that was a first in the 20 years our agency has been processing adoptions from Peru. Our referral was retracted. After we and the children had seen pictures of each other, learned that we would become a family, and started telling friends and family, it all came to a halt. The local judge decided that the children should stay at the orphanage where their birth mother could visit them, although she had lost custody some time ago. We are mindful of the difficulties faced by women in poverty, especially when the men in their life create problems. We will never know exactly what happened in this family, or what new information caused the judge to go back on an earlier decision.

We were heartbroken. We grieved for weeks. We tried every contact we knew in Peru and tried to find out what had actually happened, and if there was a chance this would all be reversed again. We stopped talking to people around us about the adoption, hoping to eventually have better news.

To be clear, the agency's attorney and the government officials in Peru did everything they could to confirm that this was indeed the judge's final decision. We were given opportunities to communicate with appropriate people. Since these events, we have been given updates that the children are OK. Some friends from church will see them later this week when they arrive on their volunteer trip and we hope they will be able to help the children understand.

Our agency finally convinced us that if we wanted to complete an adoption in Peru, we needed to move ahead and write another letter of intent for different children. Without going into all the details about how we chose, we ended up requesting the sibling group in Peru that was most like the children we had just lost. This wasn't to replace those children, but partly because we had been preparing ourselves for three. We also felt the Peruvian authorities would be willing to make that referral, whereas they might ask new questions about our dossier if we switched to a very different profile. The children are two boys and a girl, between ages 6 and 11.

At this point, we have provided all requested information and are awaiting a new referral. Consejos (the national council to grant referrals) have been happening about once a month. Our hope is to complete an adoption this Fall. It will have taken over two years. We might actually have to update our home study and some other forms that will expire in another couple of months. Back to paperwork!

This hasn't been a very upbeat blog post. We are still somewhat numb emotionally, and holding back our enthusiasm until we get some good news. One positive (from the standpoint of the adoption) is that Drew has decided to live at home this year and attend the local community college. He wasn't far away last year at Illinois State U., but is changing his major, and already thinking about a one-year master's degree, so it makes sense for him to take some time to reevaluate where he should go next. Assuming we actually do get another referral, it will be great to have him at home so the new children can bond with him as well as with Aaron and Alex.

Thank you for your thoughts, prayers, and support.