On the Malecon

Last Thursday, we moved to another condo right across the street from the ocean, near the "Parque del Amor." The children have been spending even more time at the park than before, we are within walking distance of Larco Mar (ritzy shopping) but haven't all gone there, and we have tried a few new restaurants. The street is called "Malecon Cisneros" with "malecon" meaning something like "waterfront." The area reminds me a lot of downtown Chicago. We're just facing West instead of the water being to the East, and it's an ocean rather than a lake.

When we moved, we fully expected this to be the last place we stayed in Lima. Instead, it has taken over a week to get the children's new birth certificates. We got the final adoption decree last Monday, and sent it by courier to Andahuaylas. The delivery wasn't made until Wednesday. The children's original birth certificates were in two places, both districts in Andahuaylas, because apparently the mother had lived in different places when they were born. The man whom we had hired and given power of attorney went to one (smaller) office, and the man there was reluctant to issue the new certificates, because he hadn't done it before. So our representative went to the more central district, and the staff there processed one certificate. He then went back to the other man on Thursday morning, but that man had taken off work for a long weekend, because Friday was his birthday. He didn't issue the other two certificates until Monday afternoon, and they are now on their way to Lima.

They are supposed to arrive at the courier company office by 11 a.m. Our attorneys will take us there to wait for them, and then we will rush over to a noon appointment at the U.S. embassy to get passports (which can take a couple hours). From there, we will hurry to the doctor's office for immunizations and a final checkup. All that has to be done before we can apply for the visas, which usually take 2-3 days to be issued. Of course, the embassy will be closed on Thursday because of the Thanksgiving holiday. We can only show up at the embassy first thing Friday morning with the doctor's report and beg and plead for them to issue the visas quickly. The other Villa Hope families that arrived a week before us and a week after us have both finished and gone home. The ones adopting from a Lima orphanage only stayed three weeks in Peru--so it can happen quickly. Just not in our case. Happy birthday, government dude!

Chrissy went parasailing over the weekend. She has parasailed before, in Mexico as a teenager, being towed behind a boat. Here, you go with a professional seated behind you and controlling the sail. The wind is strong enough off the ocean to just take off. You start running toward the cliff, but the wind is actually lifting you up before you jump. You drop about 10-20 feet and then start upwards. She enjoyed the ride, and they gave her a guide who spoke English. They fly very close to the cliff face and the high-rises, all over the park.

We finally visited the Parque de las Reservas, with the "Magic Waters" circuit of fountains. The children enjoyed it for a little bit, but were all tired, and we didn't stay very long. It is clearly the must-see place in Lima.

A longer visit was to "Divercity" a children's museum/play place at the biggest mall in Lima, Jockey Plaza. Last Friday, we arrived before the 4 p.m. afternoon opening and stayed until nearly 9 p.m. In the city, there are about 30 places where the children can go (with parents having to stay outside). Some of the places teach the children jobs, like being a firefighter, making paper towels in a factory, grooming dogs, or washing cars. They earn play money from working. Then, they can use their money to have fun at the futbol stadium (kicking goals in a small space), driving a car, taking a class in art or dancing, or going on a river rafting ride. It took a while for our children to warm up and understand how it all worked. They were mostly fascinated with the money at first. You start with some cash and some of your money in a bank account, which you can get via an ATM. They just wanted to keep going to the ATM. But after they tried a few of the places, they wanted to do more. The boys were tall enough to attend driving school and get a license, so they could drive the cars on a small track. Joel was better than Jordy at noticing when there was a red light. Overall, this is a really neat concept and the children wanted to go back.

Chrissy and I have taken a few opportunities to go out and eat or shop with just Alex. He is a little overwhelmed by constantly having three other children around. There are times we play with just one of the other children at a time, but when we go out, it seems they either all want to go or all want to stay home.

Play-D0 and Legos have been a huge hit. At Jockey Plaza, we bought a Lego Creator set that can be made into a plane, a helicopter, or a boat and the boys have taken it apart and rebuilt it several times. Reyna has partcipated too, but she tends to play with the Play-Do more.

27 months

Well, that was anticlimactic. Today, just before noon, we visited the SNA offices again, and were given a copy of the final adoption decree. As we understand it, that was the moment the children's names changed and they became officially part of our family. The decree was signed and distributed last Thursday, and Friday was a "day of silence" allowing any public comment on the decision. Failing any objection, Monday became the effective date of the decree, 27 months or so after we started the adoption process.

What was rather odd was that, due to our children coming from a town without an SNA office, we never saw a judge. We never met the director of the SNA, or anyone else whose signatures were on the documents. So today was just one of the government attorneys meeting us in the lobby and giving us notarized copies of the document. She shook our hands hello and goodbye, but there was no ceremony, no thanks, and in particular no words addressed to the children to tell them that the adoption is final. It felt like any of the other four times we've been to the SNA office, not like anything momentous. Frankly, we hope the children truly understand it is done.

There will be other big moments, especially when they get their US passports, when we get on the plane to go home, when we see Drew and Aaron at the airport, and when we arrive at our house. Our plan to is celebrate this date as our "gotcha" day (when the adoption actually occurred). We doubt the children will even remember anything about it.

Welcome to the family, Jordan (Jordy) Santiago, Joel Eduardo, and Reyna Sherly Miller!

Their names are pronounced YORE-dee, Yo-EL, and RAY-nuh. No doubt people at school will pronounce the boys' names with a "J" sound, which is fine. In a few months, when we readopt them (a technical issue only) in the US, they can decide whether they want to keep the current spellings, select a different name, or add another middle name. For example, Jordy was called "Pacheco" at the orphanage (perhaps because there was another boy with the same first name), but we didn't know that before we had to indicate the new names for the birth certificates. Maybe he'll want to go by JP or something. Or maybe he'll want to revert to the previous spelling, "Yordy."

We are all tired of being tourists. We are ready to go home. But at this point, we are probably still a week or so away from getting on that plane. At least it's warm here!

The Adventures of Senor Leche and Friends

A few days back, the boys started calling Alex "Senor Leche" (Mr. Milk, or in superhero terms, "The Milkman"). This moniker is apparently based entirely on the color of his skin. Now, we'll keep an eye out for other applications of this naming rule, lest they truly offend someone. I'm reminded of when Andrew was about 7 and he said "There was a black man in our yard today." I'd never heard him use that term, so I wondered about it. Turned out the fence installer was wearing a black jacket and black pants, so what else would he be but a "black man."

Anyway, here we just decided to go with it. That meant coming up with names for the other children. So now the older boy is "Capitan Avocado" and the younger boy is "Chico Papaya" based not on how they look, but their favorite foods. Of course, avocado is the English word, not Castellano (Spanish), so it took a while for him to understand what we were really saying. But now The Milkman, Captain Avocado, and the Papaya Kid can have their adventures together.

Our daughter took a while longer. From a play on her name, we started trying to think of variations on "Princess" but finally settled on "La Nina sin bateria" because she's always draining our electronic devices by playing games and listening to music. Superheroes aren't a big deal here, from what we've seen. The children might recognize Superman or Spiderman, but the big adventure cartoon here is "Ben 10" (or, Ben Diez).

Over the weekend, the real superhero was Mama, who stayed with the children in Lima while Papa went to a conference in Miami Beach. He saw the beach for all of about 90 seconds, so it wasn't a vacation. This is an annual conference that costs over $1,500 to attend, besides hotel, and he would have been on the hook for that expense if he didn't go. Besides presenting papers, meeting with other officers of the Competitive Strategy Interest Group of the Strategic Management Society (SMS CSIG, if you care), and working with coauthors, he mostly enjoyed brushing his teeth with tap water for the first time in a while. He got back to the condo about 1 a.m. Wednesday morning.

Chrissy and the kids met up a couple of times with the Ingrums, and Maria Elena and Raul also provided support with a visit and phone calls. Saturday, the Millers and Ingrums went to the zoo at the Parque de las Leyendas (Park of Legends) in San Miguel. The children enjoyed it. Monday, they went to a big discount retail store together. Other time was spent at the oceanside park and the Ovalo Gutierrez, which has a lot of US-based shops and restaurants. They ate at Chili's, and Alex had the salsa all to himself, because the other children preferred the tortilla chips without it.

Yesterday was our little girl's seventh birthday. We opened presents and had cake mid-afternoon. She got a coloring book, a dress to wear for her birthday dinner, and a necklace with a heart pendant. At night, we invited the Ingrums to join us for dinner and a show at Restaurante Junius, in the Doubletree Hotel about 4 blocks from here. Doug had gone there with the rest of the WRCC Peru team when we came down in 2009, but Chrissy had stayed with Alex at the hotel because he was sick to his stomach that day (on the 8-hour bus ride from the orphanage). Last night, there was a bit of a delay, as the restaurant called at 6:45 to confirm the reservation, and alert us that they weren't opening until 8 p.m., rather than the 7:30 it says on the door and the website. So, we ended up hanging out in the hotel lobby for awhile. However, once we got seated, everyone enjoyed the variety of food: cooked and chilled vegetable salads, ceviche, fish, beef, pork, chicken, rice, beans, potatoes, and desserts.

However, the really impressive and enjoyable part of the evening was the traditional dancers. The show was unchanged since two years ago (if you were one who was there). The dances reflect different regions and cultures of Peru. An Incan king welcomes you, a man and woman perform the lovely "Marinera," some dances reflect the influence of Africa, there are silly and scary masks including one man dancing as a condor, and dances of courtship and celebration. Perhaps most memorable are the scissors dancers, two young men who have a "dance-off" not too different in tone from some breakdancers you'd see in the park. But here the athletic moves (front flip off a headstand, kips, leaps, etc.) are all accompanied by the incessant clanging of the two parts of a large pair of shearing scissors. The two parts are disconnected, and the dancer uses his right hand to strike them together, sort of how castanets are used to keep time, but louder and more dangerous. All eight children were enjoying the show, so those that hadn't fallen asleep by the end of the show were invited on stage to learn a dance by the dancers in the silly masks. For this, we probably have Lily Ingrum to thank, as she had performed an impromptu dance to the music the "orchestra" played during the intermission, and her vivacity prompted unanimous applause from the other 50 or so people in the restaurant.

As you can tell, we've had several very enjoyable experiences. The weather is beautiful and we are close to the ocean, shops, and a huge variety of restaurants. On the other hand, we've been together long enough now that the children are starting to test their limits (and Alex's patience). When disciplined, even just having to hold a parent's hand while walking down the street, or having to go to another room while others get to watch TV, they tend to become very sullen. If this happens near mealtime, they will refuse to eat, at least until we get ready to clear the table, then they give in and rapidly down some food. They are unhappy when we tell them "no" about anything. They also don't want to talk to the psychologist when she visits, although they're affectionate toward Maria Elena and Raul. One doesn't like to be in photos. One is sneaky enough to prod a sibling until they more forcefully hit back, and then the sibling is the one that gets into trouble. One has been a bit reluctant to engage with Alex except during games. Personalities are fully formed, although they'll change with age, new experiences, and (too soon) puberty.

The next post should report that the children are legally ours, and that we have begun the process to apply for re-entry to the US. At this point, we're hopeful to be home the weekend before Thanksgiving, although some delays could still occur.

Halloween and other Holidays

Peruvians celebrate two things on Oct. 31: Halloween for children, and the national music festival for adults. Our children have apparently not dressed in costumes at the orphanage, but did associate Halloween with candy. Last night, our attorney and her husband came by, and were here to help translate when a pediatrician came to give the children their physical exams. All are basically healthy, although the doctor prescribed some antihistamines and ibuprofen for coughs and colds. After they left, Chrissy took the children out into the hall so they could ring our doorbell and Doug could hand out candy. First they were themselves, then they were animals, then they were ghosts.

The most scary thing though, is something else white and frightening, a substance so horrifying and slimy it threatens to undermine the very basis of our marriage: these children LOVE MAYONAISSE. On fries, on chicken, on sandwiches, on vegetables...this hideous addiction will follow us to the US and invade our own refrigerator! Aaauugggghhh!

Chrissy was a little disgusted at yesterday's lunch, when we went to one of the city's best "cevicherrias." Ceviche is raw fish "cooked" in a mix of citrus juice, onions, and various herbs and spices. The boys and I ate traditional cebiche, a criollo mix, and a shrimp loaf with avocado and cold potatoes. Alex tried some, and shared some of Mom's lomo saltado (a beef and rice dish). Our girl loved her grilled fish and fries.

Today is the festival of Our Lord of Miracles in Lima, the city's patron saint. There is a huge parade with hundreds of thousands of people in attendance. Most businesses are closed. The only one that really bothers us is the laundry. They've had our dirty clothes since Friday afternoon, and with the four-day weekend, we are desperately in need of clean clothes.

This morning, Geoff Ingrum and two of his children met us at the park by the ocean and then came over for lunch. Our oldest boy enjoyed playing soccer again. There were some bigger boys that said they wanted to play, but warned Geoff that they were pretty good. After losing about 20-2, with nearly all goals scored by our oldest boy, I'm not sure they still held that opinion. Also, Chrissy skyped with her classroom this morning. They never got the sound working at their end, so she just was on camera and responded to their questions by typing out her answers.

The children have been with us in Lima for 4 days now. We've seen some examples of the children testing their limits and our patience. We're still working on learning some new hygiene behaviors. But we're also learning which child prefers to spend time with a parent one-on-one, which is willing to try new foods, and which is most eager to try English words. This week will bring a couple of observations by the psychologist, haircuts for the boys, and probably some more shopping.

Finally, three words that we didn't learn until we got here, and are now part of every conversation: "mira" (look), "claro" (clear, I get it, OK, sure, etc.), and "listo" (ready, finished, I'm done).

24-7

Not a football score, but a "new normal." We now have guardianship of the children around-the-clock. Our official week for observation started this afternoon, and continues for one week. We will be visited by the psychologist at least twice during that time. However, we know it won't be for the long weekend. With the All Saints Day holiday on Tuesday, the government declared Monday a holiday too. There will be no doctor visits, paperwork, or other official business until Wednesday. In case you wondered, children in Lima do celebrate Halloween by going trick-or-treating. Maybe we'll just buy some candy and let them ring our apartment doorbell a few times.

We are in the condo in Lima (Miraflores district). This weekend, we will do some shopping for shoes, socks, jackets, etc., visit the park along the seaside, and other fun things. By Monday, we plan to have the house filled with Post-it notes with the English and Spanish words for items.

Here are some things we have found that are the same for the children as what we are used to:

• skipping stones in a lake
• eating Chinese food (sauce taufi is remarkably similar to Green Jade's chicken and broccoli flavor)
• wanting to watch television more than read books
• looking around a little fearful when the earthquake hits and your 16th floor apartment starts swaying
• laughing when someone spills food on themselves
• wanting to drink soda more than water
• pretending to cheat at Uno
• falling asleep quickly when you're very tired
• being afraid of heights
• getting bored fast on taxi rides

Here are some things that are different:

• using hot water to brush teeth
• eating such a big meal at mid-day that all you have at night is a banana or roll
• wearing the same clothes every day (at the orphanage)
• reading everything aloud, even if other people are reading in the same room
• not just taking your plate into the kitchen, but also wiping down the table after a meal, and helping put everything away
• wearing underwear in the shower (because you're used to communal showers)

Can you guess which one of these we hope will continue when we get back to the US?

Speaking of heights, here's the view from the taxi coming into Andahuaylas from the airport.

The weather was nice all week. It rained often at night, which helped drown out the noises outside when sleeping. It was jacket weather in the morning, and t-shirt weather the rest of the day. We nearly had a glitch when the hotel didn't take credit cards, but between us we had enough cash to not have to look for an ATM when we left at 6:30 a.m. Friday.

A week in Andahuaylas

Things are going well so far. We left Lima early Monday and arrived at the orphanage by late morning. Our little girl was playing in the yard, and saw us through the gate. We were brought into the office to meet the orphanage director and staff. With us were our attorney, Maria Elena Baldassari, her husband, Raul Alva, and a psychologist from the Secretaria Nacional de Adopciones, who we met last Friday in Lima.

We played with the children for a while at the orphanage, with other children around either on their lunch break from school or at recess from the preschool on site. Then we all went to lunch at a restaurant in the plaza de armas (main square) of the town. The children liked chicharron de pollo, sort of like popcorn chicken, but not as spicy. At lunch, Alex started to feel sick, so we went back to the hotel and he laid down while we colored and read books with the kids down the hall. He was feeling a little better after a few hours, so we gathered around a table in the lobby and taught them how to play Uno. They learned quickly, and it is now what the oldest boy wants to do all the time. We dropped them back at the orphanage around 5. Then, we all went to a cafe for pastries and coffee to discuss how it went. Alex was more sick in the evening, but while unpleasant, it was just due to the altitude, so he recovered by the next morning.

(Since the adoption is not final, we cannot post names or pictures online. Also, I am purposely not saying much about each child's personality.)

Yesterday, we picked the children up in the morning and headed off campus right away. Chrissy and Maria Elena played with them in the park while Doug and Raul went to three different offices in town to order additional birth certificates and get papers notarized. We had lunch at another restaurant. We first went there because we were all thirsty, and just ordered drinks. But Maria Elena met up with a friend who used to work at the orphanage, and they joined us late. By the time the soup came, the children had drank so much Inka Cola they weren't very hungry. So, the lunch we ordered for them became their dinner instead. The oldest boy carried the boxed meals around until we got back. He wanted to be sure he got the beef dish--the other two were chicken and "pappas blancas." There are several hundred varieties of potatoes in Peru, and each dish has its own specific potato. Thankfully, the restaurant didn't have chuno on the menu that day--smelly potatoes that are naturally freeze dried, thawed, and washed several times. The children like them fried with onions, but when they're put into a soup, apparently the smell is overwhelming to the uninitiated.

We spent the afternoon playing and coloring again. Then we gave them each a small gift, which we will keep at the hotel until they come with us permanently. It looks like the clothes we brought will probably fit them well enough to at least wear on the flight to Lima Friday morning. The psychologist had us sign a letter in which she approved us to take custody of the children to go to Lima. She had a few concerns about how the children were bonding with us, because she only observed us for a short time, and it is hard to pair up so that Mama gets time alone with each child, etc. But by the second day she saw it was all fine. She will continue to observe us for a week after we get to Lima.

Today we are all going to the lake called Pacucho. It is supposedly the most beautiful lake in Peru, and we really wanted to see it. The children have been there once before. Maria Elena and Raul did not get to visit it the last time they were here, about ten years ago. We are hiring a taxi with plenty of seats and it is only costing 100 soles (@ $40) for the round trip, and the driver will wait for us.

Travel Plans: Lima Tomorrow!

Doug, Chrissy, and Alex are flying from Bloomington, IL through Atlanta to Lima tomorrow, Oct. 20. We arrive at 10:15 p.m. and our friend Geoff Ingrum will pick us up and take us to our condo. Friday morning, we have an appointment at SNA where the person handling our case will welcome us and give us an overview of what will be happening the next few weeks. We will have dinner with the Ingrums Friday night, and get to know their children a bit. Then, Saturday we will go with them to their ministry to children in a very poor district on the outskirts of Lima.

Monday morning we will arrive at the Lima airport very early and fly out to Andahuaylas, up in the mountains. Our agency's attorney and her husband (who is also an adoption attorney) will accompany us, and we will be joined by a government social worker before we head off to the orphanage.

Then, the culmination of this 2 1/2 year process: we finally meet the children Monday, October 24, 2011.

A beautiful lake near Andahuaylas

From that time on, they will be staying with us, first at a hotel in Andahuaylas (until Friday morning), then in a condo in Lima. We hope to complete the adoption in Peruvian court by November 4, because I have to fly to Miami for a work conference from Nov. 5 to 8. The Ingrums will help Chrissy out if needed that weekend. Our friend Sam might also be in Lima around that time. When I return, we will celebrate our little girl's 7th birthday on Nov. 9.

The town plaza in Andahuaylas

Then, we hope to be back in the US before Thanksgiving. Andrew and Aaron are staying home, and neighbors and friends from church are going to bring them some meals and help them as needed. We plan to use skype regularly for video chats so the "new kids" can get to know their older brothers a little, too.

We have gotten so familiar with the children's pictures that we don't even have to look at them anymore to call up their faces in our minds. There's no apprehension at this point, just anticipation of finally finding out what each one's personality is, and how they relate to each other. It may not be easy for us or for them, but we are eager to get going on this journey.

FYI, our phones will be off (or in "airplane mode") because we don't want to pay the international charges for calls or texts. In an emergency, they would work in Peru. To contact us, please send email. We will have wireless access at least while in Lima.

Vamos a Peru!